Male birth control isn’t exactly ideal right now. Those who don’t wish to get their partners pregnant/don’t want to run the risk of catching a venereal disease have two options: roll a condom over their member, or go for the snip.
While condoms are obviously temporary solutions (unless you walk around with one wrapped around your peen all day every day just in case), a vasectomy is not and an attempted reversal of the surgery can lead to complications that, unless you’re absolutely confident that you’ll never want kids, isn’t really worth the risk for the sake of never buying another Durex.
However, nonprofit organization Parsemus Foundation has founded the Vasalgel, a long-term, reversible form of male contraception that could be the answer to all of our problems. On the other hand, the procedure sounds like the recommended treatment for syphilis in the Middle Ages, when Mercury was poured down the male’s urethra. It sounds like it because it’s more or less exactly the same thing, sans the Mercury and likelihood of death following the procedure.
It may look like a cute li’l transparent worm, but this thing wants to slither its way into our vans deferens. We’re not really sure what that is, but it’s ours and this gel worm can’t have it. STAY AWAY FROM OUR VANS DEFERENS, WORM.
Vasalgel is a gel with a texture like “swiss cheese” that is injected into a man’s vas deferens (the tube that connects the testes to the urethra) in order to block his sperm. According to Men’s Health, “your doctor will administer a local anesthetic, and then poke a tiny hole in the skin on your scrotum. He’ll pull out the vas deferens through the hole and inject about one-tenth of a milliliter of the gel into the tube. He’ll tuck the vas back in, glue up the hole, and send you on your way.” That’s so full of nope that our head has shaken so viciously we now have whiplash.
The procedure has been performed on rabbits and has worked, and if something can quell the libido of those horny bastards then it must work. It’s going to be tested on baboons next, so not only has this story served to make your balls jump back up into your body out of fear, it’s also made you consider baboon sex. You’re welcome.
It is hoped that Vasalgel will reach the market by 2017, so get ready for your spermless dystopian future, men.
Photo: Getty Images
