People Are Really Mad About This, Huh?

 As the Internet is known to do, it went apeshit yesterday after Cosmo called the Kardashians “America’s First Family”.  I realize the first instinct would be to say “NO….NO…THE OBAMAS!”, but luckily, the Obamas probably couldn’t give less that a shit about this. I’m pretty sure everyone knows that the Kardashians are America’s First Family like Budweiser is the King Of Beers. Or maybe Cosmo was talking about the real America, and not the abstract one, where a family can make millions by doing nothing. Unless the American Dream has changed since I woke up, Cosmo makes a pretty strong case. And apparently the Kardashians are white now. I didn’t know that. If you have to Google, “is Armenian white?”, then the point you’re trying to prove is already self-serving at best. Look at that banner picture again. Take out the hair extensions and replace everything taken by the laser hair removal groupon, and you’d be glad they fled Syria. I guess the point I’m trying to make here is chill the fuck out.

This doesn’t look like a white girl’s ass to me: