This blind item piece of gossip recently appeared in Page Six of The New York Post: “This actress was always the goody goody. She has worked hard to change that image by doing less family friendly films and making sure to wear enough see through dresses on the red carpet. She wanted to lose the squeaky clean image to get better roles, but also to sell the idea that she was sexy and desirable to men. She has no desire for men, just wants the world to perceive her as a sex symbol. Everything was going according to plan until her last movie for which there were raves. There she met another actress and love was in the air. They were inseparable for the entire shoot and even got an apartment to share. Once filming ended, our actress decided to end the relationship for fear it would damage her career. The new lover who has been quietly out for sometime and is quite the scene stealer thinks our actress should get smart and stop pretending and start living.”
Most people would assume that this is about Jessica Biel, because they are jealous of what we have together, but the general consensus is that it’s Anne Hathaway. Although this kills the myth that gayness doesn’t strike twice (her brother is also gay), this makes her officially not boring. The “new lover” is supposedly either quietly out Heather Matarazzo (this sexy beast) who Hathaway met on The Princess Diaries movies or Emily Blunt from The Devil Wears Prada. According to IMDb, Matarazzo and Hathaway “still call each other frequently and hope to be friends for the rest of their lives.” Blunt calls Hathaway “her rock” and is “dating” singer Michael Buble. For the love of God, please let it be Emily Blunt, because you couldn’t smoke enough weed to understand why Anne Hathaway would let Dawn Weiner go down on her. It must’ve been some kind of trick. Like the time my Chemistry teacher told me it would only be gay if I was on the bottom. Turns out he was just saying that.
About the “see through dresses” (NSFW):
Emily Blunt, Michael Buble and Anne Hathaway at a The Devil Wears Prada premiere:
anne-hathaway-see-through-sor00
5 Fantasy Players Who Will Disappoint in 2013
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Adrian Peterson – Vikings RB
I know you're probably going "Say whaaaaaaaaat!?" How can this beast, the no. 1 overall pick in most drafts, disappoint you? You gotta look at where you are drafting. Will Peterson be a bust and net you single digit points in over half of his games like the Titans' Chris Johnson did last season? Absolutely not! But if you are expecting 'All Day' to put up numbers like he did in 2012 MVP season then you're sadly mistaken.
Here is a statistic to keep in mind. In the history of the NFL, only seven players have rushed for over 2,000 yards in a season with Peterson being the last one to do so in 2012. The other six players who rushed for 2,000 yards in a season; not a single one of them rushed for 1,500 yards the next season. Each back had a decrease in touchdowns from the previous year and at least a 30 percent drop off in yardage.
Just calm down on the victory speech just because you get A.P.
(Photo by Andy Clayton King/Getty Images)
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Andre Johnson – Texans WR
There is no doubt that the former prolific receiver out of 'The U' is among the best wide outs in the NFL. However, time and time again, one of two things always has Johnson fantasy owners disappointed by season's end.
1) He's either injured (In 10 seasons, he has only played an entire season six times)
And the big one
2) All yardage and very few touchdowns
Never has Johnson ever put up double digit touchdown receptions in a single season. His career high is eight, which was in 2010. In his past two seasons, Johnson has a combined SIX TOUCHDOWNS! How can any fantasy owner feel confident with that as your top wideout? Save yourself the headache and pass on Johnson.
(Photo by Bob Levey/Getty Images)
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Arian Foster – Texans RB
Now, I must be crazy, right? The top two overall players are bound to disappoint you this season? Yes! Foster had a heavy workload last year with 351 rushing attempts not including the playoffs. That ranks at No. 55 all time in single season rushing attempts. Two players that had similar workloads were Deuce McCallister in 2003 (351 attempts) and Clinton Portis (352 attempts) in 2005. Both players missed games due to injury the following season and saw their rushing attempts drastically fall off (McCallister 82 less attempts, Portis 225 less attempts). If you consider that along with Foster's injury history and the fact that he just returned to practice for the first time after suffering calf and back problems, I'd say….why is this guy being projected as the No. 2 overall pick?
There are red flags galore on Foster for the 2013 campaign. If you're smart, you'll snag Ben Tate at the tail end of the draft because Foster will most certainly miss some time.
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Cam Newton – Panthers QB
Newton's sophomore slump was well discussed among critics but he still managed to put up big numbers due to being a dual threat QB. However, if you are going with a starting QB early in the draft then you need a prolific stud at QB who you can depend on. Newton is on average, being drafted right behind Aaron Rodgers, Drew Brees, Peyton Manning, and Tom Brady. That is bold for a few reasons.
For one, Newton finished 26th in the NFL last season in completion percentage. That is pretty horrendous for a top 5 fantasy QB. Second, the main factor is Newton's lack of weapons. His best option is a 34 year old Steve Smith at wideout. After that, there is a huge drop off in talent which will probably have teams stacking the box against Newton making him use his arm and mediocre receivers beat them.
With a ton of depth at the QB spot in this draft, you're better off passing on the hype of Newton.
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Colin Kaepernick – 49ers QB
The real-life version of Willie Beamen is being gobbled up in the earlier rounds now due to the performance of last season that resulted in a NFC Championship. On average, Kaepernick put up 18 points a game in standard leagues after he replaced Alex Smith as the starting quarterback. His running ability made him a threat at any point and gave us performances that reminded us of Randall Cunningham.
The problem is that Kaepernick was an enigma for teams who had never seen the former Nevada star do his thing. NFL defenses will not be caught off guard this year. Now add that awareness with the fact that his favorite target, Michael Crabtree, is out for a big chunk of the season and he's no longer a sexy pick. A lot of fans will point to Anquan Boldin as a solid replacement but Boldin isn't a burner.
Kaepernick is a gamble but if you take him too high, I'm afraid you'll be disappointed and end up kicking yourself for passing on better options at the QB spot…quarterbacks with great receivers too.
