Take notes, gentlemen.
Time to make a checklist.
"Uhm, why does this taste funny?"
Feel free to Google her for any future "research" you want to conduct.
Do you recognize yourself in some of them?
How good are you at it?
We don't judge, we just try to explain.
What happens when you're stuck in a perpetual diet war and carbs are treated like the enemy?
Even before she gets over you.
Not real cougars, though.