It’s finally happening (apparently). Nintendo, the venerable video game institution behind Super Mario and Donkey Kong, is actually going to start making their own movies.
It’s an idea that’s been bandied about for a while, actually. With so many terrible video game movies out nowadays, it only stands to reason that multi-million dollar game developers would want to keep an eye on their own properties. A bad movie could sully an otherwise iconic, impeccable video game brand. Why risk letting some Hollywood studio turn a good game like Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time into a bad movie, like Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time? Or, as Nintendo has seen from firsthand experience, an absolute trainwreck like Super Mario Bros.?
Buena Vista Pictures
But although it’s hard to imagine someone understanding Nintendo games better than Nintendo, it’s equally important to remember that the company would be new to the movie business. And it’s also important to remember that just because a game is good, that doesn’t mean it would also make a good movie. We already made fun of Super Mario Bros., and yes, that movie is terrible but it’s not like the video game was ever going to translate to the big screen with ease. It’s the story of a plumber who jumps on turtles to save a princess. It barely makes any sense to begin with.
With that in mind, we here at Crave have decided to help Nintendo out by suggesting seven of the video games they own the rights to (or at least, that we’re pretty sure they still own the rights to) that would translate to the big screen more easily than Super Mario. Some of these are obvious, some of them not so much, but it’s probably more important that Nintendo makes good movies and build their motion picture brand on a foundation of quality. After all, Marvel Studios started their franchise with a second-stringer (at the time) named Iron Man, and built to The Avengers from there. Maybe basing the first few Nintendo movies on games with more cinematic storylines and characters is the best way to go.
Seven Nintendo Movies That Might Actually Be Awesome:
Top Photo: Nintendo
William Bibbiani (everyone calls him ‘Bibbs’) is Crave’s film content editor and critic. You can hear him every week on The B-Movies Podcast and Canceled Too Soon, and watch him on the weekly YouTube series Most Craved, Rapid Reviews and What the Flick. Follow his rantings on Twitter at @WilliamBibbiani.
Seven Nintendo Movies That Would Actually Be Awesome
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Earthbound
A group of kids with special abilities (inventor, psychic, martial artist, etc.) team up to stop an alien invasion by collecting... melodies? Earthbound is one of Nintendo's strangest and most beloved games, taking place in a surreal version of America that - in cinematic terms - would probably play like a satirical throwback to 1980s classics like Goonies and E.T.
Photo: Nintendo
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Eternal Darkness: Sanity's Requiem
A young woman investigates the mysterious murder of her grandfather, only to dig up an ancient evil tome and sinister, eldritch Gods. It may be odd to think of a Nintendo movie that's rated "R" for nightmare imagery and violence, but Eternal Darkness: Sanity's Requiem might be a smart investment if Nintendo wants to be taken seriously as a production company.
Photo: Nintendo
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F Zero
It's The Fast and the Furious meets Star Wars in the sci-fi racing series F-Zero, which was always low on plot but high on octane. The game was about racing at impossible speeds through futuristic locales, but the movie would have to expand on that by building on the cast of characters and giving them an important reason to break the speed of sound in a hovercraft.
Photo: Nintendo
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The Legend of Zelda
Fans have been clamoring for a Legend of Zelda movie for decades, and this is probably the biggest "no-brainer" if Nintendo wants to come rushing out of the gate with a blockbuster. The story of a boy named Link who teams up with a princess named Zelda to save the world from an evil sorcerer will need a lot of development if it's going to make an impact outside of the gaming community, but with the right filmmaker at the helm this could also be an instant classic.
Photo: Nintendo
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Metroid
A bounty hunter traveling the universe, hunting parasitic monsters. A Metroid movie would be pretty similar to a bunch of other films, so the trick would be focusing on the character of Samus and making her story feel distinctive from the Alien franchise, without denying audiences the same kind of inventive, smart, and sometimes disgusting thrills.
Photo: Nintendo
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Punch Out!!
There are plenty of boxing movies in the world, but Punch-Out!! would have the freedom to be one of the craziest, with an underdog going up against a series of wild, unusual fighters who would make the villain of Rocky IV seem perfectly plausible.
Photo: Nintendo
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Star Fox
The Star Fox games have always had a weird identity, torn between badass outer space action and cuddly-wuddly heroes (and villains). Any filmmaker tackling Star Fox would have a hard time striking the right balance, but if they succeed this could be a breakout smash for all-ages.
Photo: Nintendo
