Bristol Palin Has No Irony

Bristol Palin (see here holding a scale model of her vagina), posted yet another blog post, and this time she has a message for all you haters who have shit to say about her being pregnant twice out of wedlock despite preaching abstinence. Fundamentalism breeds a lot of unwanted kids, turns out it doesn’t breed any irony.

This is still how much I care about anything negative … #prolife ❤️ God is good, happy Friday!!

Yes, we know you don’t care about anything negative. Especially pregnancy tests. Anyway, despite saying “I’ve been trying my hardest to keep my chin up on this one” and “I know this has been, and will be, a huge disappointment to my family, to my close friends, and to many of you”, she is now claiming that….wait for it….the pregnancy was PLANNED. Why? Wait for it again.

I made a mistake, but it’s not the mistake all these giddy assholes have loved to assume. This pregnancy was actually planned. Everyone knows I wanted more kids, to have a bigger family.  Believing I was heading that way, I got ahead of myself.

Bitch, shut up. Just shut up. Is the baby a mistake or was it planned? Or was the mistake your fiance finding out before your plan was finished? Please go to grocery a buy a bunch of bananas and a pack of condoms, because I don’t think any of us would feel safe with these two and the rest of your bastards at Castle Black.